Dying to live / Gnostic Holographies

--To Matthew Ronay after Beuys's Codex

What we mean to write and what
We mean

To draw what
We mean by having

Insides and having
Other insides

(The inside
Of inside) is somehow

A matter of sex it is
Somehow

A matter of death.
Or Eros otherwise

A lag
Time of perception

A perceptive
Dark an occultation

Of the eyes
Of the hand

Drawing the eyes
As they don’t see

Fever balloons and
Madness blisters.

They trace
A therapy

A constant therapy
To heal

By writing words
As one might

Draw them
The pressure of this

A pressure
Not unlike

Death bearing
Down

Bearing
Down on an inside.

You will reconstruct
What organs you will

Reconstruct
By drawing

Organs without
Community bereft

Impermeable collective.
Bereft in slipping

The interminable
Slipping

Of affects
From body

To transmutable
Body

Your multiple
Bodies are

A distraction
Instances

Of time themselves
The floating

Organs of a draughtsman.
The sovereign holography

Feverish topology
Of pain and what is

Not quite pain
Not actually

Your organs
Your organs no longer

With outsides
For or

In themselves.
As one must always be

Alert to heal
As trauma

Has no end
Nor beginning

Except in
These occultations

Ex-orcisms /
In-orcisms

Dying in your codex
To live.